6 p.m. I live in San Diego, 10 minutes from the ocean, and we just had a hellacious 2 minute hail storm, my Jag is covered in ice, might even be damaged. Ice! Ice in southern California at sea level! Where do I have to move to stay warm? Where?

Luke and I bought a new flat which means we are moving from the west side of Hillcrest to the east side of Hillcrest, a distance of 11 blocks give or take. One of the givens about moving is packing or in our case unpacking so we can pack again - because we move so much, restless boys that we are. And sometimes, like last week, a treasure is unearthed. Let me tell you about it.

On February 20, 1989, Tom Young, my former lover and writing partner died of AIDS at the age of 41. Our original screenplay, © STONEWALL, later titled, © A FULL MOON AND JUDY GARLAND’S FUNERAL, based around the Stonewall riots in New York in 1969, was a finalist at the 1987 Sundance Film Festival Screenplay Competition.  Tom was ill and could not attend Sundance with me. (By the way, while at Sundance I was told by a gay agent from William Morris in New York that while our script was brilliant and groundbreaking there was no way we could sell it because it was too gay. I never told Tom what the agent said.)

On February 20, 2012, my mother Sanna Jean died of Alzheimer’s at the age of 77, exactly 23 years after Tom Young died. I know they died on the same day because I found Tom Young’s Memorial 3×5 card in a box of drafts of our screenplay. On the front side of the white card is a beautiful black and white photograph of Tom sitting against a wall with his long arms crossed over his knees, those high cheekbones of his reaching for the clouds. Under the photograph is written:

May 14, 1947 -
February 20, 1989

{{ Sanna Jean
July 24, 1934 -
February 20, 2012}}

Memorial Reading and Feast
The New Riverside Cafe
Minneapolis, Minnesota
March 12, 1989

On the flip side of the card is a poem Tom wrote in 1986:

_____

morning light

I crave now
moments reduced and
bare.
no song but
a dry whisper.
no curtain but
uncomfortable morning light.
water.
clear water.
in a jar.
and
if there is a heartache
it stretches around the ticking of my clock,
it enlarges in marriage with silence,
it lays hold like a beast
reduced to this weight,
this real aloneness,
the power shaking loose its own fear,
its own dying.
pure.
this bone
of ordinary time.

_____

I never knew this poem existed until I found it in the box.

I know this -
an absolute certainty -

“morning light”

is about my mother Sanna Jean
is about Tom my Young

They never met -

They did not have to -

Sue Etta

So articulate
and infused with love
my sister
I am filled
a celebration of tears

Sue Etta

The waning
of a full moon
caught between
southern California
clouds

always does it

you are loved

sister

Sue Etta

Luke and I spent Saturday with our friend and soul mate from Washington state, P. Damn Pedersen. My heart was so full just looking at her, hanging with her at Pita Jungle then at our bungalow on First Ave. We laughed like hyenas in the wild as we told stories and caught up on every detail since last we all saw each other.

P. Damn lived on Vashon Island at the same time Luke and I did, the late 80s and early 90s. P. Damn is an amazing poet and writer. And she is one-of-a-kind in the way she has chosen to live her life which is far from over! I am richer for knowing her and I’m certain Luke agrees.

We love you, P. Damn. Happy New Year.

It is time to run the Republicans over the “fiscal cliff.”

Here’s why: Bill Clinton was elected in 1992 and the Republicans deemed him an illegitimate president, whatever that means to them. It did mean that they tried to impeach him in his 2nd term under false pretenses using an out-of-control prosecutor, Mr. Starr (oh, the memories of him). Then we had President Bush for 2 terms and the Republicans rolled over for him like lap dogs and let him start and fight 2 wars without paying for them. Without paying for them! Instead, we got the infamous Bush tax cuts which Democrats were opposed to in 2001 and 2003 and have spent a decade blasting as a reckless policy that represents nothing but a giveaway to the rich. Apparently even Bush is sick of hearing about his Bush tax cuts.

Cut to 2008: President Obama is elected. The Republicans deem (from the Middle English demen, from Old English deman; akin to Old High German tuomen to judge, Old English dom doom, First Known Use: before 12th century) him an illegitimate president and do everything in their power to force him to fail. Mitch McConnell said so. Out loud. Then just last month President Obama was reelected with over a 4 million vote margin yet the Republicans still can’t believe he won and still think he is illegitimate so now we are hanging off a “fiscal cliff” of the Republicans making because they refuse to listen to the electorate, refuse to work with the President and are willing, it appears, to destroy our country to placate their silly little oaths and biases, indeed their disregard, bordering on hate, for the American people.

Detect a pattern here?

Shove the Republicans over the fiscal cliff - they are no longer capable of governing.

DUIs and Blow Jobs

Senator Crapo from Idaho abstains from alcohol like his fellow Idahoan Senator Craig abstains from tapping his foot in airport bathroom stalls.

“I almost think I love you more for it — for being what you are rather than what was expected of you.”

- Frank Bruni’s father at the end of a dinner with his son as they discuss the years of Frank’s coming out.

- Frank Bruni is the first openly gay Op-Ed columnist of The New York Times.

A same sex couple can be married in the state of Washington in the morning and have a legal bong hit in the afternoon.

President Obama ~~~ do not give ground in these year end budget talks.
You won
in a landslide ~
the people
are on your side ~

I came upon a runaway horse one morning while taking a walk on the loop by Anne’s house on the Priest River in Idaho. I rubbed its forehead and the bridge of its nose before it trotted across a meadow and disappeared in a stand of trees.

“And over there we have people making those little Japanese birds.” Don Lemon, CNN, covering the Memorial Service in Newtown, Connecticut 12/16/12.

Beautiful
complicated
passionate
woman

my momma
died on Presidents’ Day
5 p.m.
Virginia time
I grieve
Sanna Jean
muscles ache
bone pain
trouble drawing breath

she is
in boats
in caves
with me
in dreams

by the sea
our heels dig into wet sand

her first born
a rope
of love

chokes us
green eyes
hers greener
noses
bull-tempers

oh yes momma
I will

I will know the difference
in a hundred years