Listen to Dean Martin sing after you read my previous post about Mom, they are a pair. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HLPyB4KP7E

copyright, 2011

Mom is getting restless.  I’ve been expecting it in a way.  I can tell when I talk to her on the phone that it frustrates her when she can’t follow our conversation or put it in some sort of order.  I believe she understands her inability to connect and communicate and as it gets worse, the more agitated she becomes. 

I’ve written about Sanna Jean here before.  I am having trouble wrapping my brain around the fact that my mother is gone, almost always, but she’s still alive and breathing.  I often wonder what would happen if I could give her the gift of being lucid for one minute and then ask her if she wants to stay alive or die.  How would she answer?  Mom has always had a difficult time with illness and death.  But she has also said to me she wouldn’t want to live on life support.  Either way, neither option is a good one.   

Besides, Mom could have an internal life I know nothing about.  Perhaps she’s in a constant dream state.  What frustrates me is, not knowing if Mom’s okay “in there.”  Is Alzheimer’s caused by a lifetime of memories, memory overload?  What non-verbal parts of the brain are still active? 

Do some research, you might say to me. . . 

Here’s the thing - I gave up on research after reading so many different experts.  I decided that while my views weren’t entirely medically based, they made as much sense to me as the ones that were.  I know just enough biology, thanks to those pre-med classes in my first year of college, to hold my own and to explore new advances.  Alzheimer’s research is rarely about what the patient is experiencing, inside her mind - which is different to me from her brain.  And what about the spirit?  The spirit of Mom?  She had the biggest spirit, the most exciting and maddening spirit of anyone I’ve ever known.  Is she still attached to it? 

All this is on my mind tonight because I miss her, I miss Mom.  And I can’t figure out what happened to her brain.  Does it have anything to do with all the concussions she received during one of her marriages?  Football players who have had multiple concussions are experiencing memory loss.  Why not Mom?  Or is it genes?  The environment?  Or just a planned vacation from her life before the end?

Sweet dreams, Mom.  I am David, your son. 

copyright, 2011

19-year old Zach Wahls spoke

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSQQK2Vuf9Q

during a forum in front of the Iowa House of Representatives before they voted on an amendment to ban same-sex marriage along with civil unions and domestic partnerships.  Even after Zach’s speech, the Iowa House voted 62-37 to approve the amendment which creates 2nd class citizens of all gay and some straight residents of Iowa.  Not since slavery have we seen such blatant discrimination. Today, as people around the world are fighting and dying for freedom, it is a terrible shame and a troubling truth that politicians like those in the Iowa House of Representatives are intent on taking freedoms away from their fellow Iowans.  America is a beacon for freedom, or it used to be.  Lady Liberty.  The young people in Egypt are fighting and dying for their freedom while Iowa politicians sit back and rip up freedoms like they mean nothing at all.  Well, THEY DO MEAN SOMETHING AT ALL — This is America. 

Now watch Zach’s speech.  It’s only 3 minutes long. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSQQK2Vuf9Q

I’ll let the post below stand on its own as the satire I meant it to be. . . Remember Reagan’s welfare Mom in the Cadillac? Anyway, too much has happened since then, both personally and politically and professionally to go back to the state of the union. My union is just fine, thank you.